I had a plan; a solid plan to be exact on how I was going to end my misery; how I couldn’t leave them suffer, how I trusted no one with them except me and I was not only going to kill myself but all of us.
Depression didn’t only get me planning how to kill myself but how to get rid of my kids and it all made sense and it felt right.
Depression whispered things like;
“You failed them as a mother” and “ No one will love them like you” and “POISON them and kill yourself”
But I thank God ; he taught me how to be strong and have thick skin in the mist of my dark phase.
For a while I could not forgive myself for the thought until my daughter told me I am the BEST MOM and she knew my pain and will never judge me.
Don’t under estimate your kids; you might think they don’t know what’s going on while they watching a dying inside for you.
I know it will take a while to take away the thought that I had them growing up before their time but God keeps saying “I’ve hidden them from it all, that chapter will be deleted with time”
#themakingofstrongWOMEN coming out soon